Seaside

Lovely day’s brightness heads

A drop of tear in those lonely eyes

As the elegance of beauty spreads

By the shore she still awaits

Gazing winds sweeps her mind

The child’s laughter echoing in ears

His legs pushing hard the sand beneath

A passing wave erases his effort

Her grief expands thought by thought

If she had cared a bit more than usual

No one knew it would happen that way

Coz he was the only one she lived for

He yells at the sea “I love you mom”

But no one knew he was GOD’s best son

Fascination leads his step ahead

And all the excitement pulls a stop

Passing time doesn’t seem to bother

Her hope has lived since his departure

Bowed head and chanting lips

Glows the life within a mother

Lovely day’s brightness heads

A drop of tear in those lonely eyes

As the elegance of beauty spreads

By the shore she still awaits

DECISION

Why does it seem hard to fix yourself?

After all no one knows you better

Flattering words displace you

But the right I feel is in your hands

Twists and turns all are a part

And sacrifice don’t seem the card

Like streetlights they guide

And darkness seems to hide

Thoughts travel in existence unknown

You stand still and stare

With no one still to care

World turns round a million times

Year by year facing your past

All in one day lay upon your hand

Paths are many but traveller thee decide

YOU KEEP SEEING..

You see m not at all stressed but fail to realize m all together depressed

You see m sleeping but fail to realize my heart is still beating for you

You see my eyes shine but fail to realize it aint coz of happiness

You see my bright smile but fail to realize m faking it

You see me hanging with my friends but fail to realize I still feel lonely

You see me walking forward but fail to realize m still lost in the middle of no where

You see me standing tall but fail to realize m floating in air

You see everyone being attracted to me but fail to realize am totally distracted

You see me calm and quiet but fail to realize  m weeping deep down

You see me rising up but fail to realize m still lying on the ground

You see everything but fail to realize a thing!

Tick Tock

Gazing at the watch we see time travelling

For a second let’s stop

Funny though even without attention it flies

Closing my ears to concentrate I still hear the seconds ticking

Moments I enjoy doesn’t last long for I hear mamma shouting “times up”

In the hall of examination the value of each second is felt

Time again grows me up from a lil’ child to a teenager

From there to a woman and finally leaves me with a note rest in peace

Hectic and surprising, it gave me things to cherish and to regret

Passing time taught me lessons worth learning,

A book of experience worth sharing

It gave me time to stand and stare

So to turn back and think of the travelled ways

It showed me how strong is my feet and so are my wings

It warns me there is a journey ahead and so little time left

Let me start now before the clock starts ticking again

LIMELIGHT

The limelight shone on me and I became the centre of attention

Nothing attracted them as much as I did

The way the cameras flashed and the mikes took forth

A girl’s fantasies did come true

The purple gown brushed the red carpet as I stepped forward

Under my moccasins was a pavement of luxury

People stood in amazement and as a star I jeweled

A sudden blink, the limelight starts to fade

Black clouds absorbing the moonlight left me in dark

The stones pressed deep beneath my bruised feet

I lay on the ground

A passing hand raised me to feet

As I brushed off the dust on my tattered cloth

Those pity eyes had sympathy for a wandering child

The cold eyes gazed upon as I drag myself

Under the limelight, on the carpet, being the centre of attention, I walk again

A page from my diary

10 December 2010
      11:45 pm
Today, I realize my school life has come to an end and its only at the end we realize how beautiful the beginning was. I've spent two whole years in Vedavyasa. Never knew how time ran, it still surprises me. Sitting in the class, listening to the lectures of the teachers rose tears in my eyes, they were forcing me to face the fact that its the turning point of our life and we are no more those children who are to be taught and taken care of. The wings have grown, now what matters is the strength you apply to reach your destination. Sitting at the back bench, I visualized the day when I first entered the school, fresh faced and not knowing a kid nor the rules and regulations of such an auspicious and reputed school. Those days came into my vision when the children of our class united and we called ourselves XI A. I searched among all the students for a crazy bunch, where I could be myself as well take my academics along. Those days are still cherishable when we stopped by the shop to have a drink of lime, those daily treats, birthday specials, sneak-peak clicks of the camera, our onam celebrations, annual day practices, sleeping in the class with the name of a headache or stomachache, blabbering utter nonsense in the class room under the name of discussion, enjoying our snacks during the smart classes, looking around for help when the teacher picks on us, mimicking our beloved teachers in their absence, little- little pranks on every kid, passing around those little pieces of important information, shortly chits, writing our exam papers with great concentration onto our neighbors paper, following the principle of mutual understanding and a little of gymnastics, coming out of the examination hall with great relief and inquiring how well have you done the paper, in order to assure yourself that you pass,  the ever helping hand of our text book was the only source of truth we could rely on. All those funny names with which we teased each other and at last our seniors who tortured us to death under the name of ragging. It was a year which gifted us with great friends despite all our losses. When we entered the crucial year, our teachers warned about the consequences we are yet to face and so did our principal in his own style, “did we care???”, a question that I still ask. Time ran with our hectic special classes, extra classes, entrance coaching’s, tuitions and exams, entertainment was a fade memory. Having the sword on top of our heads and running to catch hold of the daily homework’s and assignments, which were assigned to be done from home and brought to class the very next day, was done by us during our morning special or during the periods and intervals, despite all this with proud we did say that we submitted it on time, in fact it was just useful for those who had that extra time to spend, those were the ones we titled as nerds. Then rushed in the time of records, writing, writing, writing, day and night writing, it was the only thing for which a helping hand could not be sought. The lengthy periods spent in our laboratories were worth while, damaging our own property (schools property is our property). The galvanometers and meter bridge, whose lives we tortured and were supposed to be in working condition until we stepped our feet into the lab. The rams and usb’s who ran for their lives when we came to operate. It was comical yet still the incidents were worthwhile. Finally the day came when our life long strike showed its fruits, when the tour was called on. Later on the old bonds between us friends started to loosen because new bonds were under construction. Its said that old is gold but do you think the new generation is interested in gold? So there goes a year of fun into everlasting tears and scars that still remain unhealed. We took every chance to enjoy, never left one, expressed our love every way we could. Never did I know that emotions could predominate our academics. Cakes, pastries and sweets were the last part of our buffet. When the time rose to peak I realized even we have our goals to achieve. Made set my mind that the new year would be dedicated just for my academics and I’ll make sure to make my parents and teachers proud of me.

A FOOL'S PLAY

In order to survive the extreme or in words to contempt the soul one takes forth words or situations which in turn he creates for himself as a way to escapism. The whole episode of life proves this theory again and again. You don’t need to intrude into else life, just peep through your own, back the memory lane, where you have left your own scars, those deep imprints will tell you this theory.
Its not long back that I realized that all humans have this tendency. Through every trail I walked, I wanted things in my own unique style, and it all had to end in one day and that’s the reason why I am the way I am.
You entered my life with a gesture of friendliness, like every soul that wanders to eternity has a hand to hold while walking through all the hardships, the journey is long and tiresome and at times boring too but what makes it worth while is a shoulder to lean on and the helping hand you put forth. Life takes us up the mountain and drowns us to the bottom of the sea but all that HE wants us is what we call experience. But why?, is a question I raise, what are we going to do with all these lessons and theories and never ending book of experiences?, all in one day we abode the place where in turn every soul reaches. No matter where I am, the memories I carry tells me that I’ve lived every moment and have survived every  bed of rose with you.
The day I met you, I didn’t know how to address you, a rose by any other name smells as sweet. Puzzled though I was I called u “my” friend. Time passed away and later on we started calling each other friends forever. On every page of the book, on every bench, on every heart we wrote that we will be there for each other no matter what. Those eyes of cold stares increased day by day but our bond was strong enough to withstand. Days passed, months passed n now even years, a simple question I ask, “where are you now?”. All those days of togetherness, all those moments, all those promises, where they just mere words for you???

Lost Gem

It was hard to find that diamond between all those fake stones. Hard to reach but not impossible. I don’t know  what gave away to such a relation that blossomed during time. Perfectly carved and brilliance were its qualities but the wonder still took forward,  who could have lost it during the journey??? Even if lost, when found out, why didn’t cum back in search??? Anyway it’s not about the loss that counts, it’s about the gain which I have.
If not he had’th lost I shall neither have gained, sounds quite old fashioned but it’s the truth. During the past years of my life I was lucky enough to have a gem with me through out. That I found, kept  and eventually lost. Some of them were lost yet regained broken, which I held closer to thy heart. These past days I’ve regretted about the lost gems, not anymore. I’ve lost them for else to find. It maybe thee the one who holds my once lost gem. Precious they are not because I used to have them, cause they are worth a life time.
During these years, the count of stones skipped but not of the gems. Each has a different life but once they were linked to mine. No longer I hold them for somewhere along the journey, I misplaced and refused to turn back.
It seems quite weird, when you know I’m talking about you and still you wonder who is that lucky person mentioned in my scratch.

I MISS YOU...

I don’t know... while the crowd reads through... will your eyes too shine onto my blog.. I miss you more than words could say... , I miss you more than emotions could convey... . Don’t know why... even though I took a promise... that I’ll never regret any moment in my life I seem to have broken it... . Its true a single word could make or break a life... just a single word could take you to cloud nine... as well as crush your heart deep down... . I don’t know why I’ve never told you what’s in my mind... may it be friendship... may it b love... . I’ve always found myself hiding behind the pillars... though you seemed to have noticed... there was no motion from your side... . While reading you may wonder why there is so much of a gap, why don’t the words cling to itself. I use “if” to complete my sentences, “if” either you or I had the courage, things wouldn’t have travelled the way it did. No more tears to shed, no more to regret and nothing more shall I say than that I love you more than myself. I don’t know why, again and again I ask myself "why am I that crazy about you???" Why do you seem to be so special to me, when your are just a normal guy through the vision of others. I still don’t know why when your name speaks up, I seem to be lost in a world of my own, making my ears deaf of what they talk. I don’t want to know anything more about you than what I’ve understood. I don’t want to listen to their words being sharp on you, I can’t just take it. Even though I’m aware that somewhere along the journey you went wrong. I refuse to believe it. Let things be as such, if these emotions are a dream then let me sleep forever for at least I can be with you until I wake.

Tonight- A memory of a valentine

Tonight I see
Tears in the eyes of those victims who were a part of this
Tonight I see
Those shining stars look with regret at a sight of his

Tonight I hear
The sounds of whisper fading away
Tonight I hear
The voice of his through the travelled ways

Tonight I feel
The arrogant wind bury my face filled with tears
Tonight I feel
His mysterious presence though it indulges me with fear

Tonight I thought
Of what they might think of us
Tonight I thought
What he might think of the fuss

Tonight I speak
Those words of praise in haste
Tonight I speak
Of his friendship which was a waste

Tonight I wish
That he should have never changed
Tonight I wish
That I never saw him engaged

Tonight I regret
The sweet memories we saw together
Tonight I regret
The words of his which meant forever

Tonight I know
How those who stand beside me will be
Tonight I know
Him more than me

Tonight I pray
For all those in love
Tonight I pray
For all the peace that symbolises dove